My Big Fat Mouth: Part 2 - "Criticizing" with Craig Groeschel

My Big Fat Mouth, Part 2: From Fault Finder to Hope Dealer

Scripture References

Primary text

• Galatians 5:14-15
• Proverbs 12:18
• Ephesians 4:29

Other references

• Proverbs 21:19
• Romans 15:13
• Romans 8
• Titus 2

Overview

Criticism can slip out of our mouths so easily that we hardly notice, yet a single cutting remark can scar a soul and destroy intimacy. Pastor Craig Groeschel challenges us to recognize the difference between a “fault-finding spirit” and a “hope-dealing heart.” Words either wound or heal; they either echo the Accuser or point people to Jesus, our living hope.

Context

Craig opens with a humorous—yet painful—memory of his first sermon, the cruel comments that followed, and the single encouraging voice of his pastor who saw potential in him. The contrast sets the stage: one critic nearly shut him down, one encourager propelled him forward.

Main Points

The Destructive Power of Criticism

• Paul links love and verbal restraint: love your neighbor, but beware of “biting and devouring” one another (Galatians 5:14-15).
• Critical words can:
  • Erect walls in marriages.
  • Distance parents from children.
  • Undermine our witness for Christ.
• Illustration: “Grandma burn” – subtle family digs that still slice like knives.

• “You have no idea how a single word of criticism can pierce someone’s soul and stick with them for years.”

Words that Heal vs. Words that Cut

• Proverbs 12:18 contrasts “cutting remarks” with wise words that bring healing.
• Ephesians 4:29 commands speech that builds up “according to their needs.”
• Block negative patterns: nit-picking finances, parenting styles, social posts, driving habits, etc.

Two Kinds of People

Fault Finder

• Default mode of the sin nature.
• Mirrors the Pharisees and “the accuser of the brothers.”
• Often rooted in pride, insecurity, or lack of understanding.
• Makes us look insecure and mean-spirited—never admirable.
• Illustration: Craig’s own early marriage habit of tearing others down to feel smarter.

Hope Dealer

• Rooted in Romans 15:13—overflowing with hope by the Holy Spirit.
• Paul models it in Romans 8: no condemnation, Spirit helps our weakness, nothing separates us from God’s love.
• Jesus embodies it: calls out sin yet offers freedom (woman caught in adultery).
• Refrain:

  “We are not fault finders; we are hope dealers.”

Practical Shifts

• Catch and replace critical thoughts before they become words.
• Highlight strengths before mentioning weaknesses (if at all).
• Speak identity and destiny: Craig’s story of the 12-year-old “Jonathan” who thrived under spoken belief.
  • Story: Craig greets the boy with a firm handshake, declares “I sense greatness in you,” and watches his behavior transform as he lives up to the affirmation.
• Celebrate progress out loud; assume the best when you don’t understand.
• In marriage, friendship, workplace, online—let hope walk into every room with you.

Key Truths

• Words carry the power of life and death; we choose which we plant.
• Criticism often reveals more about our insecurity than about another’s flaws.
• Satan accuses; Jesus restores—our speech should reflect our Savior, not our enemy.
• Encouragement is never wasted; God multiplies a single life-giving sentence.
• Hope dealers build people toward God’s purposes; fault finders block those purposes.

Response

• Examine your recent conversations; repent of unnecessary criticism.
• Pause before speaking: ask, “Will this build up according to their need?”
• Intentionally verbalize one specific encouragement to each family member today.
• Replace “finding fault” with “finding fruit” in coworkers, leaders, and strangers.
• Memorize Proverbs 12:18 or Ephesians 4:29 as a daily verbal filter.

Closing

Pastor Craig closed by inviting us to raise hands in surrender, asking God to turn fault-finding mouths into hope-dealing voices. He reminded the church that wherever we go, hope should arrive with us because Christ, the Blessed and Living Hope, dwells within.

“God, may we be life givers, not life takers—hope dealers who point everyone to Jesus.”

Prayer

A corporate prayer followed, thanking God for forgiveness through Jesus, asking to be filled with the Spirit, and committing to spread the hope of Christ to everyone we meet.