Relationship Goals Part 4 - Marriage Covenant | Craig Groeschel

Covenant-Keeping Relationships

Scripture References

• Matthew 19
• Hebrews 13:4

Overview

Pastor Craig continued the “Relationship Goals” series by contrasting three mind-sets about marriage—casual, contractual, and covenantal.
Because God joins a husband and wife into one flesh, marriage is never “just a piece of paper”; it is a holy covenant sealed before God, reflected in the marriage bed, and protected from the enemy’s attempts to divide. Followers of Jesus therefore choose to be Christ-centered, mission-driven, devil-kicking, and covenant-keeping in every relationship decision.

Main Points

1. Three Approaches to Marriage

• Casual
  • Marriage is “no big deal,” sex is recreational, and cohabitation feels logical for convenience and cost-saving.
  • Barna (2017): 57 % have lived with a boyfriend or girlfriend.
  • Practicing break-ups while “playing house” can train people for divorce later.
• Contractual
  • A marriage contract is built on mutual distrust, is temporary, and exists to protect personal rights while limiting responsibilities.
  • When one party “breaks the terms” (doesn’t make me happy, calls me a name, etc.) the other feels free to exit.
• Covenantal
  • Based on unconditional commitment and sacrificial love.
  • Term comes from the Hebrew word berith—“a cutting.” Blood is shed to seal the oath.
  • Illustration of ancient practice: bull cut in half; both parties walk around it seven times: “May what happened to this animal happen to me if I break my word.”

2. What a Covenant Wedding Looked Like

• Priest nicks the groom’s and bride’s palms; mingled blood symbolizes shared life.
• Hands bound together — a visual of two becoming one.
• Couple departs to the chuppah (bridal suite); virgin groom and virgin bride consummate the union, again with a shedding of blood.
• They return and the celebration begins.
  Illustration: “Twenty-two-year-old virgins—wedding party only waits four or five minutes,” Pastor joked.

3. Why Sex and Marriage Matter to God

• “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure” (Hebrews 13:4).
• Church must move from a constant “No, no, no” message to “Wait, wait, wait—because something holy is coming.”
• For those with sexual pasts: Christ makes people new; forgiveness is available, and purity can start today.

4. Choosing Covenant in a Complicated World

• Pastor and Amy’s mantra: “Our marriage is as good as we choose for it to be.”
• Feelings are unreliable; commitment is a choice—like feeding a baby, going to work, or paying taxes.
• Refrain repeated throughout the series:

  “We will be Christ-centered, mission-driven, devil-kicking, and covenant-keeping.”

• God’s relationship with us is covenantal, not casual or contractual.
  Old Covenant: annual lamb sacrifice, blood on doorposts foreshadowing the cross.
  New Covenant: Jesus, the Lamb of God, shed His blood once for all. Even if we are faithless, He remains faithful.

Key Truths

• Marriage was designed by God and therefore must be honored by everyone, married or single.
• Contracts protect rights; covenants surrender rights and assume responsibility.
• Sexual purity is not about legalism but about valuing God’s holy gift and future intimacy.
• A couple’s relationship will be as strong as the mutual choices they make, not as strong as their fluctuating emotions.
• God’s unwavering covenant love empowers believers to keep their covenant with each other.

Response

• Honor every marriage you encounter—speak, act, and plan with its holiness in mind.
• Break casual or contractual patterns; treat your current or future spouse with covenant respect.
• If single, commit now to sexual purity and to waiting for a marriage covenant.
• If living together outside of marriage, prayerfully reconsider and take steps that align with covenant honor.
• Receive Christ’s forgiveness for past sexual sin and start practicing purity today.
• Declare over your home: “We will be Christ-centered, mission-driven, devil-kicking, and covenant-keeping.”

Closing

Pastor Craig acknowledged that some marriages face deep hurt, betrayal, or dysfunction, yet covenant love is still possible through deliberate choice and God’s faithfulness. He urged couples and singles alike to reject casual and contractual mind-sets and to embrace the covenant that mirrors God’s own commitment to His people. One repeated declaration summed up the call:

“Our marriage is as good as we choose for it to be.”

Prayer

“Heavenly Father, we humble ourselves before Your goodness. You are our covenant-keeping God, giving us everything through Your Son and showing us how to live in covenant with one another in marriage. Whether married or not, help us honor marriage at every age and stage because You have ordained it and it pictures our oneness with You. We commit ourselves to the covenant we have said ‘yes’ to—no matter how hard or how good—in Jesus’ name, Amen.”