The Signs You Keep Ignoring

The Signs You Keep Ignoring

Scripture References

Primary text

• 1 Kings 16
• 1 Kings 21
• Genesis 3:6

Other references

• Matthew 28:19
• 1 Kings 2:18

Overview

Baptism weekend celebrates visible stories of changed lives, then Pastor Craig launches the new series “Love Stories” by examining Ahab and Jezebel—the Bible’s most dysfunctional marriage. Their tragedy exposes two red-flag patterns that still suffocate relationships today: a controlling spirit that dominates and a passive spirit that disengages. Spotting these warnings, repenting, and turning hearts back to God—not merely fixing one another—opens the path to healthy love.

Main Points

1. Ahab & Jezebel: cautionary tale, not cute couple

• Ahab, seventh king of Israel’s northern kingdom (874 BC), married Phoenician princess Jezebel, a devoted worshiper of Baal.
• Jezebel’s influence led Ahab—and then the nation—away from Yahweh (1 Kings 16; 21).
• God’s review: Ahab “did more to provoke the Lord to anger than any king before him.”

2. Two destructive dynamics

Controlling spirit that dominates
Passive spirit that refuses to engage

3. The danger of passivity (Ahab’s pattern)

• Story: Ahab wants Naboth’s vineyard for a vegetable garden; Naboth refuses (1 Kings 21).
  • He sulks in bed “with his face to the wall” and refuses to eat—royal temper tantrum.
• Red flags while dating or married:
  1. Lack of direction & initiative.
  2. Avoids hard conversations.
  3. Defers responsibility; makes excuses.
• Warning: “A passive heart in dating leads to a passive partner in marriage.”
• Adam’s sin was also passivity—he stood beside Eve and did nothing (Genesis 3:6).

4. The pain of control (Jezebel’s pattern)

• She belittles Ahab: “Is this how you act as king over Israel?”
• Words shape relationships; the tongue carries life or death.
• She forges Ahab’s name, frames Naboth, and arranges his murder to seize the vineyard (1 Kings 2:18 wording used).
• Red flags of a controlling spirit:
  1. Uses guilt or pressure (“If you loved me you would …”)
  2. Makes all the decisions; your voice is ignored.
  3. Distrusts and constantly checks up on you.

5. Our biggest problem isn’t personality—it’s misplaced worship

• Control and passivity are symptoms; the root issue is turning from God to false gods (money, pleasure, self, etc.).
• Ahab finally repents—tears his clothes, puts on sackcloth, fasts (1 Kings 21); God shows mercy.
• Repentance can’t change the past but can transform the future.

6. Practical help for every relational status

• Dating: don’t overlook ongoing passivity or control—these are warning signs, not quirks.
• Marriage: address patterns, not just episodes; speak life, not contempt.
• Single or married: seek God first; healthy relationships flow from hearts turned toward Him.

Key Truths

• Relationships rarely implode overnight; most suffocate slowly through control or neglect.
• A passive partner drains momentum; a controlling partner drains freedom.
• Your words are constructive or destructive—there is no neutral speech.
• The opposite of love is not hate but apathy.
• Repentance invites God’s mercy and can resurrect even a broken marriage.

Response

• Examine your own heart for patterns of passivity or control.
• Speak life-giving words to your spouse, friends, and children this week.
• Set clear boundaries or seek counsel if red flags persist in dating.
• Pray daily for the Holy Spirit’s help to lead, serve, and love sacrificially.
• Place God first—schedule time in Scripture, worship, and community as the non-negotiable center of your relationship life.

Closing

Pastor Craig reminded the church that no matter how damaged a relationship feels, “there is always a way back to God, and with God all things are possible.” Instead of blaming a partner, he called everyone to turn hearts toward Christ, repent where necessary, and trust the Lord to rebuild what sin has eroded.

“Seek first the Kingdom of God, and then everything else will be added to you.”

Prayer

The congregation confessed personal areas of control or passivity and asked God for forgiveness, strength to love like Jesus, endurance not to give up, and the Holy Spirit’s power to rebuild marriages, friendships, and future relationships around Christ.