Adulting Fails, Pizza, and the Meaning of Life

Identity, Purpose, and Becoming an Adult

Overview

A handful of twenty-somethings gathered over homemade pizza to wrestle with the big “adulting” questions: Who am I? Why am I here? How do friendship and calling fit together? Again and again the conversation circled back to one conviction—identity is settled by what God says, not by shifting feelings or social expectations. From that foundation, purpose and relationships can take shape without the pressure of having everything figured out at eighteen.

Context

The group started a blog to voice late-night, “meaning-of-life” questions. Their first in-person meet-up felt so life-giving that they decided to keep gathering. Tonight’s goal: talk honestly about identity, calling, and the confusion that comes with early adulthood.

Themes

Accepting God’s Definition of You

• Identity is “Christ’s fingerprint” on each life—rooted in His sacrifice, not personal achievement.
• Jessica: even when feelings say otherwise, she chooses to repeat what Scripture says—made in God’s image, chosen, loved—until belief grows.
• Spending hours scrolling Instagram versus meditating on who God says you are will produce “drastically different” results.
• Story: Christian didn’t grow up around church and chased ever-moving standards; now he’s learning to speak to himself as someone made in God’s image.

“My identity isn’t always based on my feelings … but it’s true, and I need to just walk in that belief.”

Feelings vs. Truth

• Will (their mentor) reminds them identity “isn’t based off a feeling because Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”
• Feelings are acknowledged, but they cannot be the measuring stick for worth or calling.
• Real change happens as head knowledge (“I know God says…”) travels to the heart through daily practices of truth-telling and obedience.

Discovering Purpose

• Callings look different:
  • Jessica always felt drawn to teach the next generation.
  • Christian, 25, longs to play music though culture tells him he “should” be married, degreed, and settled.
• A single, unchanging, life-long calling isn’t required; purpose may shift over time.
• Quote (Andy Stanley):

  “Direction, not intention, determines destination.”
  Small daily habits, not mere wishes, move you toward who you want to become.

Identity and Purpose Alignment

• When identity and purpose drift apart, Jacob feels “so much angst” and isn’t fun to be around.
• Realigning begins by asking, “Who does God say I am?” and letting that answer govern vocational choices.
• Trying to find identity in purpose backfires; knowing identity first brings freedom to pursue purpose without fear.
• Quote (Jacob recalling a talk):

  “Before you ever know where you’re gonna go or what you’re gonna do, you have to define who you want to be.”

Adulting Together in Community

• Making pizza (that was “not terrible”) and playing a rematch of Heads Up built trust for deeper talk.
• Story: Caroline hosted guests for the first time since moving a year earlier; the vulnerability opened space for honest conversation.
• Friendship flourishes when people admit they don’t have life figured out and choose to seek answers together.

Key Truths

• Identity in Christ is fixed by His work, not by fluctuating emotions.
• Rehearsing God’s words over your life reshapes what you believe about yourself.
• Purpose emerges and adjusts over time; it should flow from identity, not replace it.
• Daily direction, not lofty intention, sets the course for who you become.
• Honest community lightens the load of “adulting” and sharpens clarity about calling.

Response

• Choose to rehearse what God says about you each day.
• Limit social media that fuels comparison; invest that time in Scripture and prayer.
• Identify one habit that aligns your direction with who you want to become and start today.
• Share your unanswered purpose questions with trusted friends instead of carrying them alone.
• Celebrate small steps—like hosting or trying a new creative pursuit—as real movement toward purpose.

Closing

The evening ended with gratitude and relief: none of them has to perfect adulthood overnight. As they keep asking hard questions, anchoring identity in Christ, and practicing small, purposeful steps together, confidence grows. Caroline summed it up: knowing who God says you are “helps you become more confident in the things He’s called you to do.”

Resources

• Andy Stanley quote: “Direction, not intention, determines destination.”
• Game referenced: Heads Up.