The Connected Family

Parenting in the Digital Age: Redeeming Technology with Family Values

Scripture References

• Deuteronomy 6

Overview

Technology isn’t the enemy; it’s a powerful tool that can either deepen or disrupt relationships. Ally Evans and David Eaton invite parents, grandparents, and caring adults to reset their own screen habits, establish clear family values, and shepherd kids toward healthy, Christ-centered use of phones, apps, and video games. When you know who you are and what your family values, you’ll know what to do—one lifelong conversation at a time.

Context

Life.Church hosted this “Connected Family” session to equip adults who feel overwhelmed by smartphones, social media, and gaming. Ally brings two decades of NextGen ministry experience; David leads Axis.org, serving hundreds of thousands of parents with culture-translation resources.

Main Points

1. Start With Your Own Habits

• Kids mirror adult behavior; screen time standards begin with parents’ example.
• Replace endless scrolling with life-giving activities—walks, board games, face-to-face conversation.
• Identify and articulate your household’s core values before setting any tech rules.

2. A Theology of Technology

• Technology is neither purely good nor neutral; it is “very good” yet “cursed” in a fallen world.
• Framework: Celebrate what’s good, confess what’s broken, and ask how your family can redeem it for God’s purposes.
• Praying for wisdom shifts the conversation from fear to hope.

3. Parents Are Irreplaceable

• Deuteronomy 6 and modern research agree: parents are the No. 1 influence on a child’s faith and life.
• Think of parenting as “one 50-year conversation” that never stops—even about smartphones.

4. The “First Phone” Mind-set

• Giving a phone should be incremental, similar to driver’s-ed training.
• Initial device can be talk-and-text only; full internet and social media come later, with guidance.
• Keys to readiness: maturity, trust, and the ability to self-govern—not a birthday.

5. Eight Domains to Write Down

1. Non-negotiables (e.g., no pornography, no texting while driving)
2. Money (who buys, repairs, and replaces)
3. Time (daily limits, nighttime docking)
4. Location (dinner table, bathroom, bedroom)
5. Internet & browsers
6. Texting & messaging
7. App store access
8. Social media (and emerging AI)
   Write the plan in pencil; update as technology changes.

6. Relationship Over Strictness

• “The stricter the parent, the sneakier the teenager.”

• Goal: raise sin-confessors, not sin-concealers. Keep communication open, practice a calm “I’m-not-shocked” face, and invite honesty.

7. Encouraging Real Play

• Video games are creative and fun but can become addictive.
• Prioritize unstructured, child-initiated play outdoors and offline to balance screen experiences.

8. Tough Situations & Q&A Highlights

• Blended homes: strive for shared guidelines; if impossible, model consistency in your own home.
• Accidental exposure to explicit content: prepare kids ahead of time (e.g., use “Good Pictures Bad Pictures”); keep dialogue grace-filled.
• Sibling differences: be transparent that privileges depend on maturity and evolving wisdom, not merely age.

Key Truths

• Technology is powerful, not neutral; families must steward it intentionally.
• Parents remain God’s primary disciplers, no matter how advanced the devices become.
• Written, revisable guidelines give clarity and reduce conflict.
• Freedom is the ability to choose what is good; incremental training moves kids toward that freedom.
• Honest, ongoing conversation protects hearts better than rigid control.

Response

• Examine and adjust your own screen time this week.
• Draft (or revisit) an eight-domain family tech charter—write it down and pray over it together.
• Schedule a one-on-one “tech check-in” with each child to listen first, then guide.
• Introduce a non-screen family activity (walk, board game, service project) and make it a weekly habit.
• Pray daily for wisdom to celebrate the good, confront the bad, and redeem technology in your home.

Closing

Parents and grandparents, you are irreplaceable guides in a digitally saturated world. When you invite your children’s wonder, model wisdom, and keep the lifelong conversation going, screens become tools—not masters—for loving God and others well.

“Technology is amazing. There are really cool things about it and really hard things about it. Your kids need your wisdom.”

Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank You for all who have gathered for this teaching. We ask that You would be at the center, guiding our steps as we learn to navigate these times with our children. Give us ears to hear and teach us, Lord. May we grow stronger and better in our parenting, and may our children be blessed because of this. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Resources

• Axis.org – Culture Translator weekly email & Everything Smartphone Guide
• “Good Pictures Bad Pictures” (and Junior edition) by Kristen Jenson and Gail Poyner