Love Song: Part 5 - "Love in Action" with Craig Groeschel - LifeChurch.tv

Closing the Gap Between Intentions and Actions in Marriage

Scripture References

• Song of Solomon 7:1-3
• Song of Solomon 8:6

Overview

Good intentions alone do not build a thriving marriage; acted-on intentions do. Drawing from the Song of Solomon, Pastor Craig gave three simple, memorable practices that close the gap between what we mean to do and what we actually do. When every life-giving thought is spoken, every special idea is acted on, and every desired change begins with ourselves, marriages move from routine to richly intimate.

Context

Craig opened with a light example—leaving an oatmeal-soaked pot for Amy—showing how “I meant to” still feels like failure when no action follows. In most homes, the tension point isn’t lack of desire to bless a spouse; it’s the distance between desire and follow-through.

Main Points

Think Something Good? Say It.

• Words carry life or death; Solomon constantly verbalizes admiration (Song 7:1-3, 5, 7-8).
• Every positive thought about your spouse is a potential blessing—release it immediately by text, call, or face-to-face comment.
• Upgrade the habitual “Love you” by adding one fresh reason: “I love you because __.”
• Silence is usually interpreted negatively; unspoken praise can feel like criticism.

• Illustration: Craig’s travel text—one unanswered hour shifted his mind from romance to worry until Amy finally replied with a playful photo.

Think Something Special? Do It.

Purposeful Time

• “Come, my beloved…let’s spend the night in the villages” (Song 7:11-12) shows planned, unrushed togetherness.
• At least once a year, escape overnight without kids or demands; laughter and intimacy re-emerge when routine fades.
• Say no to lesser activities so you can say yes to marriage-nourishing time.

Thoughtful Acts

• She saved mandrakes and delicacies for him (Song 7:13)—small, intentional gestures that say “I was thinking of you.”
• Modern equivalents: folding laundry, washing dishes, getting kids ready—acts of service often feel more romantic than flowers.

• Story: Amy now makes the bed each day, something she doesn’t value personally but does because Craig does; every night he notices.

Want Something Different? Be It.

• You cannot force change in a spouse, but you can change what you give. “If you don’t like what you’re getting, look at what you’re giving.”
• Husbands are urged to lead; wives naturally multiply what they receive—kindness or conflict.
• Choosing the narrow path means refusing cultural norms (sex before marriage, casual commitment, unresolved conflict).
• The couple’s resolve culminates in her declaration:

“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death…it burns like a blazing fire.” (Song 8:6)

Key Truths

• Spoken affirmation breathes life into a marriage; withheld praise feels like neglect.
• Intentional, shared experiences rekindle joy far faster than routine allows.
• Small acts of service communicate thoughtfulness more loudly than expensive gifts.
• Personal transformation invites relational transformation; blame does not.
• God’s design for marriage is sacrificial love mirroring Christ and the Church.

Response

• Speak every encouraging thought to your spouse before the day ends.
• Calendar a kid-free overnight or date to reconnect on purpose.
• Perform one unrequested act of service this week that lightens your spouse’s load.
• Examine your own attitudes and actions: change what you give before critiquing what you get.
• Pray together, asking God to guide both of you onto His “narrow path” for marriage.

Closing

Craig concluded with gratitude for Amy and a call for every couple to reject the broad, failing pattern of culture and pursue something better by God’s Spirit.

“Your marriage can be as good as both of you want it to be when you decide to serve Christ and serve one another.”

Prayer

He thanked God for healing hurts, preparing singles, and renewing marriages, asked for strength to live differently, and celebrated those who said “yes” to Jesus’ pursuing love.