Relationship Goals Small Group Questions: Week 4

Relationship Goals: Christ-Centered, Mission-Driven, Devil-Kicking, Covenant-Keeping

Overview

In this final session of the “Relationship Goals” series, we review the four aims that set Christian relationships apart: Christ-centered, mission-driven, devil-kicking, and covenant-keeping. The discussion moves from lighthearted reflection on personality differences to a sober examination of how we view marriage—casual, contractual, or covenantal—and ends with a call to personal application. The goal is clear: adopt God-shaped mind-sets and habits so our relationships reflect His design.

Context

• The talk is framed for life-group discussion.
• Participants are thanked for opening their homes and encouraged to form true spiritual community.
• Each question builds on teaching from the previous four weeks, inviting honest self-assessment and next steps.

Main Points

1. Opposites: From Attraction to Potential Attack

• Dating often highlights complementary traits; after marriage those same differences can cause tension.
• Story: Craig loves punctuality; Amy is relaxed about time. Amy demands immaculate cleanliness; Craig is unfazed by dirt.
• Prompt: Identify one significant difference with your spouse (or a trait that may annoy friends if single) and discuss whether it challenges or enriches you.

2. Three Mind-sets Toward Marriage

• Casual: “Just a piece of paper.” Little honor, easy to dissolve.
• Contractual: “50/50—you keep your end, I’ll keep mine.” Performance-based and fragile.
• Covenantal: A holy union God Himself establishes—“what God joins together, let no one separate.”
• Prompt: Reflect on the marriage model you observed growing up. Which mind-set shaped you? How does it still influence you?

3. Review of the Four Goals

1. Christ-Centered
   • Calling yourself Christian is not the same as building every decision around Christ.
   • Simple daily practice: join hands, pray 30–60 seconds, seek God together.
2. Mission-Driven
   • From Eden (“Be fruitful, multiply, rule, subdue”) to the Great Commission (“Go into all the world”), God gives couples a shared purpose.
   • Discover what you both love and hate; let that fuel your mission.
3. Devil-Kicking
   • Whatever God unites, Satan tries to divide.
   • Stay on guard; eliminate today the temptations you could face tomorrow.
4. Covenant-Keeping
   • Marriage is never casual or merely contractual.
   • It’s a lifelong promise before God, upheld by His strength and our commitment.

4. Personal Application

• Prompt: Looking back on all four weeks, name your biggest takeaway.
• How will this insight change your current marriage or prepare you for a future one?

Key Truths

• Differences that attract can also irritate; handling them with grace strengthens unity.
• The way you saw marriage modeled growing up powerfully shapes your default expectations.
• A covenant view of marriage treats the union as sacred and permanent, not contingent on performance.
• Shared prayer is a simple, daily act that keeps couples Christ-centered.
• Proactive resistance to temptation is wiser than battling it later.
• Clear, God-given mission welds spouses together and pushes back darkness.

Response

• Identify one personality contrast in your relationship and decide how to handle it with humor and humility.
• Examine your inherited mind-set toward marriage; replace any casual or contractual views with a covenant perspective.
• Begin (or restart) daily couple prayer, even if it’s only 30 seconds.
• Articulate a shared mission: write it, pray over it, and act on it together.
• Set concrete boundaries today that block tomorrow’s temptations.
• Capture your single biggest takeaway from this series and plan one action step this week.

Closing

The series ends by reaffirming the four goals that can reshape every relationship. Participants are urged to move from discussion to decisive action so that their marriages—or future marriages—radiate Christ’s heart.

“We are Christ centered, we are mission driven, we are devil kicking, and we are covenant keeping.”