5 Signs You’re Dating the Wrong Person

Five Signs You’re Dating the Wrong Person

Scripture References

Primary text

• Proverbs 27:12
• 2 Corinthians 6:14

Other references

• Amos 3:3
• 1 Corinthians 13:7
• Proverbs 27:9
• Proverbs 12:15
• James 1:19-20
• Matthew 24:4
• Psalm 119:115
• Proverbs 5

Overview

God longs for our relationships—especially the ones headed toward marriage—to be wise, holy, and life-giving. Using Proverbs 27:12 as the lens, the message contrasts the “sensible” who spot danger and avoid it with the “unthinking” who ignore warning signs and later regret it. Pastor Craig outlines five clear red flags in dating, urges listeners to pursue Christ-centered standards even when they seem extreme, and closes by pointing to the green flags that mark a God-honoring relationship.

Context

The sermon opens with statistics on marriage and divorce to show how common regret is when early warnings are ignored. Pastor Craig frames the talk for people who genuinely want to follow Jesus, acknowledging that the guidelines will sound radical to anyone who is not yet committed to Him.

Main Points

1. They are not consistently pursuing Jesus

• “Consistently” and “pursuing” matter more than perfection.
• Cultural Christianity (“I’m American, so I guess I’m Christian”) is not the same as following Christ.
• People talk first about what they value most; if Jesus never surfaces naturally, take note.
• Illustration: In the first hour of real conversation you should hear about faith, church involvement, or ministry—otherwise treat it as a warning.
• 2 Corinthians 6:14 warns against being unequally yoked; God is protecting, not restricting, you.
• “Don’t give them your heart if God doesn’t have theirs.”

2. The people who love you don’t love who you’re dating

• Trusted friends, family, and spiritual mentors often notice what infatuation blinds.
• Story/Humor: Even the family dog that likes everyone may refuse to warm up to this person.
• Proverbs 27:9 and 12:15 highlight the sweetness of counsel and the folly of ignoring it.
• Repeated negative feedback from godly voices is a red flag—listen.

3. There is no pattern of healthy conflict

• Every couple fights; the issue is how.
• Healthy couples fight fair for resolution; unhealthy couples fight dirty for victory.
• Story: Craig jokes about Amy dragging him out from under the bed to “fight like a man,” then explains their real strategies (two cars to church, working on issues when calm, not letting anger linger).
• Extremes to watch: constant breakup-makeup cycles or zero conflict (possible avoidance).
• James 1:19-20 supplies the posture—quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry.

4. Trust is shaky

• Love “always trusts” (1 Corinthians 13:7).
• If someone is DM-ing exes, liking suggestive photos, or hiding phone activity, mistrust may be warranted.
• Sometimes the issue is personal insecurity; either way, unresolved distrust is a warning.
• Ask plainly: “Why would I stay with someone I do not trust?”

5. The relationship pulls you away from Jesus

• Matthew 24:4—“See to it that no one leads you astray,” including a boyfriend or girlfriend.
• Indicators: skipping church, disconnecting from Christian community, repeated sexual compromise, rationalizing sin together.
• Proverbs 5 calls sexual intimacy intoxicating; intoxication blurs vision, lowers standards, and clouds judgment—many stay with a partner “below their standards” because they are “drunk” on sex or infatuation.
• Psalm 119:115 models the courage to walk away in order to obey God.

Green flags (the flip side)

• Both consistently pursue Jesus.
• Your community celebrates the relationship.
• Conflict is handled with grace and progress.
• Mutual trust grows naturally.
• Together you are moving closer to Christ rather than drifting from Him.

Key Truths

• The spiritual foundation of a relationship will influence every other area of life more than any single factor.
• Godly boundaries are expressions of love and protection, not limitation.
• Ignoring small red flags today often leads to large regrets tomorrow.
• Infatuation intoxicates; wisdom sobers.
• You cannot marry the right person while you are still dating the wrong one.

Response

• Examine your current relationship (or future prospects) through the five red flags.
• Invite trusted, godly friends and family to speak candidly about whom you are dating.
• Practice James 1 conflict skills: listen quickly, speak slowly, check anger.
• Establish clear sexual boundaries that honor Christ and keep you sober-minded.
• If a relationship hinders your walk with Jesus, end it respectfully and decisively.
• Prioritize growing closer to Christ in singleness, dating, and marriage alike.

Closing

The sensible see danger and step away; the unthinking plow ahead and live with regret. God offers a better path marked by honesty, holiness, and shared devotion to Christ. When we recognize red flags and move toward green ones, we open the door to marriages that reflect God’s love and bless future generations.

“Don’t give them your heart if God doesn’t have theirs.”

Prayer

Pastor Craig prayed that believers would seek Jesus first in every relationship, receive courage to address warning signs, and experience healing where marriages are hurting. He also led those far from God in a surrender prayer, thanking Jesus for forgiveness and new life.