When Past Hurts Still Hurt

When Past Hurts Still Hurt

Scripture References

• Psalm 59
• Matthew 27
• Isaiah 53

Overview

Abuse wounds deeply, yet Christ can meet us there. Pastor Craig showed that Jesus Himself endured extreme physical, emotional, and psychological abuse, so He understands ours. The message exposed the many faces of abuse, spoke directly to both abusers and victims, and traced a Spirit-led pathway from secrecy and hurt toward safety, forgiveness, boundaries, and lasting healing in Jesus.

Context

This talk continues the “Been There” series, exploring situations where Jesus identifies with human pain. Today’s focus—abuse—is rarely addressed in churches, yet affects countless people.

Main Points

Abuse Is Widespread and Often Unspoken

• Statistics: over one-third of women and one-fourth of men experience severe violence or stalking; nearly half of U.S. adults face psychological aggression; 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 5 boys are sexually assaulted by 18.
• Much abuse goes unreported, minimized, or misunderstood inside and outside the church.
• All abuse breaks God’s heart; the church must name it and respond.

Jesus Has “Been There”

• Matthew 27 describes four humiliating strippings, savage flogging with a flagrum, mocking, spitting, a crown of thorns, and crucifixion.
• Jesus endured physical torture, sexual humiliation, emotional and psychological abuse.
• Because He suffered, He can empathize with every victim.

Four Major Forms of Abuse

1. Physical – hitting, choking, kicking, etc.
2. Sexual – any non-consensual sexual act, including rape, molestation, coercion.
3. Emotional – verbal attacks, threats, controlling, gas-lighting, financial manipulation.
4. Spiritual – weaponizing Scripture or authority to shame, dominate, or silence.
   All abuse is sinful; some is also criminal.

A Direct Word to Abusers

• Abusers are often former victims themselves; compassion does not excuse sin.
• “It is never okay to abuse someone else.”
• Stop, confess, seek professional and spiritual help.

• “Abusing never makes you strong; it shows you’re weak.”

• In weakness, Christ’s strength can heal and transform.

A Direct Word to Victims

• First priority: get to a safe place; do not return to danger.
• When stabilized, remember:

  • “You can’t heal and hate at the same time.”

  • Healing requires releasing the offender to God’s justice.
• Christ models praying for abusers—“Father, forgive them”—but forgiveness is often a process.

Pathway to Healing

• Pray honest, sometimes raw prayers; prayer may or may not change the abuser, but always changes the victim’s heart.
• Forgive “just as God through Christ has forgiven you” (reference cited without book/chapter).
  • Forgiveness frees you from bitterness; it is not letting the offender off the hook.
• Establish Christ-honoring boundaries; trust must be rebuilt, not presumed.
• With God, godly counsel, and safe community, “healing is possible.”

Scars Become Testimonies

• Story: Craig recounted dishonoring his alcoholic father in a sermon tape his dad later heard. Instead of retaliating, his dad said, “I forgive you—new game, new inning,” modeling grace that mirrors God’s.

• Jesus rose with scars; our healed wounds can likewise testify to resurrection power.
• Isaiah 53: by His wounds we are healed.

Key Truths

• Abuse wears many disguises, but every form is sinful and matters to God.
• Jesus’ own suffering proves He understands every victim’s pain.
• Healing requires both safety and truthful acknowledgment of the hurt.
• Forgiveness releases the victim from ongoing bondage; boundaries protect future health.
• God can turn scars into stories that glorify Him and offer hope to others.

Response

• Reach out for help immediately if you are in danger.
• Confess abusive behavior, repent, and seek counseling.
• Begin praying—honestly—about the hurt you carry.
• Choose, when ready, to start the forgiveness process, trusting God with justice.
• Set and maintain healthy boundaries while trust is rebuilt.
• Share your story in safe community so your scars can encourage others.

Closing

Pastor Craig invited every listener to become part of the solution—creating a church where victims are protected, abusers find help to change, and Christ’s resurrection power brings restoration.

“Because Jesus rose from the dark place of abuse and oppression, by His power you too can rise in healing.”

Prayer

Pastor Craig prayed for the Holy Spirit to begin or continue healing in every heart, for the church to stand in the gap for the wounded, and for the resurrection power of Jesus to bring freedom and new life to both victims and perpetrators.