3 Principles to Help Your Relationships | Michael Todd and Craig Groeschel

Don’t Quit in the Pit

Scripture References

Primary text

• Genesis 37:5
• Genesis 39:2
• Genesis 39:21

Other references

• Genesis 37:23
• Genesis 37:36
• Genesis 39:6
• Proverbs 19:21
• Psalm 23:4

Overview

God wants every one of us to “win in relationships,” but that requires living by His principles, not by the private lists we create for how life and love should unfold. Using Joseph’s story, Pastor Michael Todd showed that the road to the palace almost always runs through a pit. When expectations collapse, rip up the list, remember God is still with you, and keep moving through—because the pit can become the very platform God uses to fulfill His purpose.

Main Points

Rip up the list of expectations

• We all carry an internal “list” for the perfect partner, timing, business, or family.
• Frustration often comes from God not signing off on something He never authored.
• Proverbs 19:21 reminds us that even with many plans, God’s purpose prevails.
• Illustration: Pastor Mike and Natalie’s relationship hit a ten-month season of “insanity” before marriage; ripping up his list started ten years of rebuilding trust that eventually produced a healthy marriage and the “Relationship Goals” book.

“Rip up the list.”

The journey rarely resembles the destination

• Joseph dreamed of ruling (Genesis 37:5) but immediately entered betrayal, slavery, and prison.
• Likewise, your relational or vocational palace may come by a route you never would have chosen.
• Key principle: “The journey doesn’t always look like the destination.”

Don’t quit in the pit

“Don’t quit in the pit.”

• Modern culture says leave when it gets hard; Scripture teaches perseverance.
• Love often starts where feelings end; commitment precedes emotion.
• Psalm 23:4 emphasizes walking “through” the valley—not stopping there.
• Story: Even while his book hit #1, Pastor Mike was navigating the ongoing challenges of a son with autism—a personal pit that required daily faith.

Faithfully serve the season you are in

• In Potiphar’s house Joseph “succeeded in everything…as he served” (Genesis 39:2).
• Promotion comes from God, not people; He watches how you treat mundane assignments.
• Single? Busy calendars and purposeful living create momentum long before someone joins your life.

Guard your integrity—especially when no one is looking

• Genesis 39:6–12: Potiphar’s wife (the “cougar”) pursued Joseph; he refused to look, protecting his assignment.
• Integrity may not yield immediate reward—Joseph was lied about and imprisoned—but it positions you for God’s elevation.

Pits and prisons can become platforms

• In prison Joseph still interpreted dreams; the very place of confinement became the connector to Pharaoh’s palace (Genesis 39:21).
• Betrayal wasn’t meant to break you; it was allowed to take you where you’d never have gone on your own.
• Ask in every circumstance, “God, what do You want to do with me here?”

Key Truths

• God’s purpose will outlast and override my personal plans.
• The presence of God accompanies me in the pit as surely as in the palace.
• Integrity in hidden places prepares me for influence in public places.
• Serving faithfully where I am is the seedbed of future promotion.
• Betrayal and setbacks can be vehicles God uses to relocate me into destiny.

Response

• Rip up any list that limits God’s direction for your relationships or future.
• Keep moving—inch forward if you must—but refuse to camp in discouragement.
• Serve with excellence in your current assignment, however small it feels.
• Protect your integrity by fleeing situations that compromise purity.
• Look for signs of God’s favor even inside apparent failures or delays.

Closing

The same God who was “with Joseph” in every scene is with you now—whether you feel on top of the world or stuck in a cistern. The pit is not your grave; it can be God’s pathway to the palace if you refuse to quit, keep serving, and trust His timing.

“If God is for you, then who can be against you?”

Prayer

Father, some of us stand in a palace and others in a pit, but today we invite You into every situation. We tear up the lists we made without You and ask for Your purpose to prevail. Strengthen us to keep moving through, to serve faithfully, and to give You all the glory when we stand in the place You’ve prepared. In Jesus’ name, amen.