3 Gifts to Give Your Children

Parenting on Purpose — Week 2: Preparing, Not Pampering

Scripture References

• Matthew 7:11
• Deuteronomy 6
• Proverbs 13:20

Overview

We all want to give our kids “the best,” yet the easiest gifts can weaken them instead of equipping them. Pastor Craig challenges parents to worry less about today’s happiness and more about tomorrow’s readiness. Drawing from the Shema in Deuteronomy 6, he names three common ways well-meaning parents create entitlement and three intentional gifts that raise Christ-centered kids.

Main Points

When Good Intentions Hurt

• Give-away #1 – Things they didn’t earn

  • First child’s pacifier got boiled; by kid 5 the dog “sanitized” it. Our standards drop when we are tired.
  • Participation trophies and instant purchases teach entitlement instead of effort.

  • “One of the best things we can do is give our children the blessing of earning the blessings.”

  • Practical: chores before video games, match their savings on a car or phone, remind them they’re borrowing your phone until they pay.
  • Parents are not peers; kids don’t get an equal vote on everything.

• Give-away #2 – Praise they don’t deserve

  • Cheap “You’re the smartest!” compliments create anxiety: “If I’m not the smartest, am I still loved?”
  • Praise the process, not the person: “You worked hard and honored God,” not “You’re the best.”
  • Robust identity grows from effort that pleases God, not inflated labels.

• Give-away #3 – Freedoms they can’t handle

  • Over-protective about crossing the street, yet hand a middle-schooler an unrestricted smartphone.
  • Porn, sexting, FOMO, anxiety and TikTok obsession are adult temptations in a child’s pocket.
  • Freedom should follow demonstrated trustworthiness; the long-term goal is shifting dependence from parents to God.

Three Gifts Worth Giving

1. A Community Worth Having

• Deuteronomy 6 addresses Israel, not just individual parents—discipleship is communal.
• Old-testament families included up to 80 relatives and workers, modeling built-in support.
• Principle: Who and what you expose your kids to shapes who they become.
• Illustration: Craig moved his talented son off an elite soccer team with poor influences onto a lesser team with godly teammates.
• Influence environments you can control: weekly LifeKids, Switch, Christ-centered camps, mission trips, church internships.
• Proverbs 13:20 confirms the principle: walk with the wise, become wise; run with fools, get hurt.

2. A Standard Worth Achieving

• Love the Lord with all your heart, soul, and strength—partial devotion isn’t the target.
• Jewish 12-year-olds memorized the first five books of the Bible; our children can rise to higher expectations too.
• Raise standards: family YouVersion plans, Scripture memory, sexual integrity, worship music choices, consistent serving.

• “If you don’t expect much from your kids, you won’t get much.”

3. A Faith Worth Sharing

• Truth must first live in parents: kids detect fake Christianity instantly.
• Make God-talk normal—at meals, in the car, at bedtime.
• Christ-centered families don’t add Jesus; He is the center.
• Story: On vacation the Groeschel kids fought. A tear-filled family meeting, apologies, and prayer became a formative spiritual moment—proof that God works even through imperfection.

Key Truths

• Entitlement grows when rewards precede responsibility.
• Praising effort anchors identity better than hyping talent.
• Unmonitored freedom is not love; it’s neglect.
• Spiritual roots deepen fastest in intentional, Christ-centered communities.
• Jesus is not an accessory to family life; He defines it.

Response

• Audit your child’s circles; plant them in godly community this week.
• Tie privileges to responsibility, not to whining.
• Replace vague compliments with specific affirmation of effort and character.
• Re-evaluate digital freedoms; set limits that match maturity.
• Initiate a daily family rhythm around Scripture and prayer.

Closing

Pastor Craig called the church to unite around the next generation:

“We’re going to give our children a community worth having, a standard worth achieving, and a faith worth sharing.”
Parents won’t manage this alone, but together—with the body of Christ and the Holy Spirit—we can raise kids who love the Lord with all their hearts.

Prayer

Craig asked God to fill parents and children with wisdom and grace, to put Jesus first, and to empower the church to disciple the emerging generation well.