When Past Hurts Still Hurt

When Past Hurt Still Hurts

Scripture References

• Matthew 27
• Isaiah 53

Overview

Abuse is far more common than most churches acknowledge, yet God’s heart breaks over every wound. Craig Groeschel opens his own story and the passion narrative to show that Jesus understands physical, emotional, and psychological abuse—and that, in Him, real healing is possible. The message moves from naming the problem, to confronting abusers, to guiding victims toward safety, forgiveness, and a future where their scars become testimonies of resurrection power.

Main Points

The Silent Epidemic of Abuse

• Statistics: 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men experience rape, violence, or stalking; 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 5 boys are sexually assaulted by age 18.
• Abuse often goes unreported, minimized, or blamed on the victim—especially within faith communities.
• Craig shares his own realization that what he thought was “normal” in an alcoholic home was abuse.
• Illustration: Three people sitting together—statistically one has likely been abused.

Jesus Has “Been There”

• Matthew 27 sketches the flogging, stripping, mocking, and crucifixion Jesus endured—physical, emotional, and sexual humiliation.
• Excruciating (“out of the cross”) describes the intensity of His suffering.
• Because Jesus experienced abuse, He empathizes fully with victims today.

Defining Abuse Beyond Bruises

1. Physical – hitting, choking, pushing, etc.
2. Sexual – any non-consensual sexual act or comment, including marital rape.
3. Emotional – verbal attacks, control, isolation, gaslighting, economic manipulation.
4. Spiritual – weaponizing Scripture or authority to shame, control, or threaten.

• “Not all abuse is criminal, but all abuse is sinful.”

A Word to Current Abusers

• Hurt people often hurt people; most abusers have been wounded themselves.
• Compassion does not excuse sin: “It is never okay to abuse someone.”
• True strength is admitting weakness, repenting, and seeking help in Christ‐centered community.

First Steps for Victims

• If you are in danger, “get to a safe place” immediately.
• After safety and stabilization, begin the healing journey with trusted friends, counselors, and life-groups.

“With the help of God and His people, healing is possible.”

You Can’t Heal and Hate at the Same Time

“You can’t heal and hate at the same time.”

• Forgiveness is a process; it does not let the offender off the hook but releases them to God.
• Jesus’ model: while still on the cross He prayed, “Father, forgive them.”
• Prayer may not change the abuser, but it always changes the heart of the one who prays.

Boundaries and Restoration

• Forgiveness frees the victim from bitterness but may still require firm, ongoing boundaries.
• Trust is rebuilt gradually; a “new inning” is possible when repentance and change occur.
• Scars remain, yet become proof of God’s healing—just as the risen Christ still bore His wounds.

Key Truths

• Abuse is widespread, under-acknowledged, and deeply offensive to God.
• Jesus’ suffering means He fully understands every form of abuse.
• All abuse is sinful; the Church must be a safe place for both victims and repentant abusers.
• Healing and hatred cannot coexist; forgiveness is essential for true recovery.
• God can turn scars into testimonies of resurrection power.

Response

• Seek immediate safety if you are in an abusive situation.
• Confess and repent if you are abusing; pursue professional and spiritual help.
• Begin talking—share your story with a trusted friend, counselor, or group.
• Pray for the courage to forgive when God leads, releasing your offender to Him.
• Establish healthy boundaries that protect your dignity while trust is rebuilt.
• Invite Jesus into every wound, believing His resurrection power can restore you.

Closing

God sees every hidden hurt and stands ready to heal. Because Jesus was pierced, crushed, and raised, the same Spirit can raise you from fear, shame, and bitterness. Today the pastor calls both the wounded and the wounding to step into the light of grace, start honest conversations, and trust that the Savior who carried our pain will finish His healing work.

“By His wounds we are healed.”

Prayer

Father, only You can mend what abuse has shattered. Comfort the wounded, convict the oppressor, and let Your church be a refuge of safety and restoration. Through Jesus—who was scarred for our healing—bring freedom, wholeness, and new life. Amen.