Developing Others Through Coaching Training: Coaching Conversation: Joeanna

Facing the Fear of Confrontation

Key Moments & Quotations

• Pastor LaDonna: “Help me kind of understand what do you think the most critical thing is for you?”
• My reply: “Is he going to blow up … and how is he going to be with the rest of the family?”
• Pastor LaDonna: “What do you think will happen if he’s not approached?”
• My insight: “If I don’t meet with him there’s a lot to lose versus if I do, he’s just going to get angry.”
• Remembered strategy: “We met in public, I drove, so he couldn’t walk away.”
• Commitment moment: Pastor LaDonna: “I’m going to hold you accountable for that.” – I agreed to call within a few days and set a meeting within a couple of weeks.

Heartfelt Reflections

• I felt real hesitation—unusual for me—because our relationship has finally been smooth the last two years, and I don’t want to jeopardize that.
• I realized most of my fear centers on possible blow-ups and how the rest of the family might suffer.
• The turning point came when LaDonna asked what would happen if I did nothing; suddenly the cost of silence felt heavier than the risk of speaking.
• I’m walking away knowing the fear is still there, but I now have clear steps and a sense of purpose.

Theological & Pastoral Insights

• Fear can keep me from loving confrontation, yet stewardship of family relationships sometimes requires hard truth-telling.
• Accountability (LaDonna’s promise to check back) reminds me community is part of healing; I don’t have to carry this alone.
• Remembering a past approach that balanced honesty with gentleness gives me hope that wisdom gained before is God’s provision for today.

Practical Next Steps

• Call my relative within the next few days to invite him to lunch in a public place.
• Offer to drive so he can’t simply walk away if tensions rise.
• Aim to meet within two weeks to discuss the gambling concern openly.
• After the meeting, debrief with LaDonna or another trusted person about how it went.

Follow-Up Plans

• LaDonna will check in after a couple of weeks to see whether I made the call and held the meeting.