The Cost of Trying to Control Everything | Lysa TerKeurst

God, You Are Good at Being God

Scripture References

Primary text

• 1 Samuel 25

Other references

• 1 Samuel 22
• John 16
• Matthew 5:8

Overview

Lisa TerKeurst walks through 1 Samuel 25, showing how Abigail’s response to crisis models radical trust in a good God. We repeatedly choose between grasping for control or faithfully stewarding what is really ours while leaving outcomes to Him. Through Abigail’s courage, Lisa’s own story of marital heartbreak, and a practical daily prayer, we are invited to release control, live humbly, and act bravely because “God, You are good. God, You are good to me. God, You are good at being God.”

Main Points

Abigail’s difficult home

• Abigail is described as “intelligent and beautiful,” yet married to Nāvāl, a surly, mean, wealthy land-owner.
• Her circumstance shows that godly character and painful environments can coexist.
• Story context: David and 600 distressed, indebted, discontented men (1 Samuel 22) have protected Nāvāl’s flocks; David rightly expects hospitality during sheep-shearing festival.

Control vs. Stewardship

• Lisa’s definition of control:
  • Mantra 1 – “Everything depends on me.”
  • Mantra 2 – “I will only accept the outcome I think is best.”
  • Results: anxiety, manipulation, exhaustion, spiritual confusion.
• Stewardship:
  • Mantra 1 – “I can only manage what is within my ability to manage.”
  • Mantra 2 – “Regarding the outcome, I trust God.”
  • Results: obedience, surrender, peace.
• “What we don’t trust, we will try to control—people, circumstances, even God.”

Abigail’s stewarding action

• She can’t control Nāvāl, so she responsibly gathers what David asked for: 200 loaves, wine, sheep, grain, raisin and fig cakes—perfectly portioned for 600 men.
• She rides out alone, meets armed David in a mountain pass, bows in humility (strength, not weakness).
• Illustration: humility and humiliation both land us facedown; only difference is whether we choose to bow or trip.

A wise, courageous appeal

• Abigail reminds David of his destiny: future king, victorious giant-slayer.
• She pleads that he not derail that destiny by needless bloodshed—“Don’t bring that fuka (Hebrew for ‘staggering burden’) on yourself.”
• David blesses her for keeping him from revenge; God later judges Nāvāl without David’s sword.

Personal testimony: trusting God in betrayal

• Story: Lisa’s 30-year marriage ended after repeated infidelity.
• She realized she was enabling, trying to be savior; released control, became an observer, let consequences fall.
• Insight: “It will cost us something to trust God with all our heart, but it will cost us more if we don’t.”

Living the prayer of trust

• Daily prayer:

  “God, I want to see You, hear You, know You, follow hard after You. Before my feet hit the floor, I say Yes to You. … God, You are good; You are good to me; You are good at being God.”

• Ask God each day to show someone to forgive, someone to bless, and fresh evidence of His goodness.
• The more we look for God, the more we will see Him (Matthew 5:8).

Be brave

• Lisa’s 2 a.m. declaration calls believers to courageous action even while hands are shaking: forgive, bless, connect with the right people, kneel humbly, rise intentionally.
• “Do brave until you become brave.”

Key Truths

• Trust and control cannot occupy the same space; where trust ends, control begins.
• Humility positions us for divine protection and influence; revenge derails destiny.
• God’s presence is found in everyday obedience—He sends people to forgive and bless.
• True surrender exchanges “my will” for “Thy will” because God is always good and always God.
• It costs less to trust God than to carry the heavy burden of self-directed outcomes.

Response

• Release whatever you are trying to control and entrust it to God.
• Pray Lisa’s morning “Yes” prayer tomorrow before your feet hit the floor.
• Identify one person to forgive and one tangible way to bless someone today.
• Choose humility in conflict; speak destiny-reminding words instead of reacting in anger.
• Act bravely in the small assignment God puts before you, even if your hands shake.

Closing

Abigail’s story proves we can step into danger with peace when we know the outcome belongs to God. Humility disarms revenge, stewardship replaces anxiety, and bravery is simply obedience lived out loud.

“God, You are good. God, You are good to me. God, You are good at being God.”

Resources

• Book: “I Want to Trust You, But I Don’t” by Lisa TerKeurst