Time to Define the Relationship

Define the Relationship – Ruth 3

Scripture References

• Ruth 3
• Ruth 3:12
• Song of Solomon 8:4

Overview

Ruth 3 drops us into the “decision point” of Ruth and Boaz’s relationship. After seven silent weeks, Naomi urges Ruth to act, sending her to the threshing-floor where Boaz will celebrate the harvest. The passage is “weird” on the surface—mid-night feet-uncovering and all—but it showcases courage, purity, and honor. Craig Groeschel pulls out five practical lessons for modern relationships and ends by pointing to Jesus, our ultimate Guardian-Redeemer, inviting every listener to “define the relationship” with Him.

Main Points

1. Silent Weeks & Rising Questions

• First date went great—“sparks were flying”—but Boaz never followed up.
• Ruth second-guesses herself: Was she too forward, not clean enough, “gave him the ick”?
• Naomi, ever opinionated, decides it’s time to DTR (Define The Relationship).

2. Naomi’s Risky Plan at the Threshing-Floor

• Strategy: clean up (“wash, put on perfume, best clothes”), wait till Boaz has eaten and is in good spirits, note where he sleeps, uncover his feet, lie there, and let him speak first.
• Illustration: Craig jokes he’s never advised his own daughters to sneak into a guy’s sleeping space.
• Scholarly guesses on “uncover his feet”: gather information, be aggressively noticeable, or trust God’s providence while signaling availability.

3. Guardian-Redeemer Explained

• A kinsman-redeemer was the nearest male relative who could protect and provide for a widow.
• Boaz is a potential, though distant, redeemer—no automatic obligation.
• Ruth’s request “spread the corner of your garment over me” = “Will you cover and redeem me?”—a culturally forward move akin to proposing or prompting a proposal.

4. Purity & Boundaries: “How Far Is Too Far?”

• Ruth and Boaz spend the night in close proximity but do not sleep together; Boaz protects her reputation and purity.
• Key verse: Song of Solomon 8:4 — “Do not awaken love until the time is right.”
• Principle: instead of edging up to the moral line, build margin—like staying far from a venomous snake or avoiding near-crash limits in a plane.
• Story: Craig and Amy unintentionally fell asleep together while dating; later repeated it intentionally—illustrates God’s grace even when we cross lines.

5. An Unexpected Obstacle & Boaz’s Integrity

• Boaz agrees to redeem Ruth but reveals a nearer relative has first right.
• Promises to handle the matter honorably; sets up next week’s “shrewd negotiation.”
• Principle for singles: “If he’ll do what it takes to get you, he’ll do what it takes to keep you.”

6. Five Relationship Lessons Summarized

1. Put yourself where the right kind of person is likely to be.
2. Don’t overlook someone right in front of you.
3. Sometimes you must actively pursue what you want.
4. Even when you don’t get it right, God can still make it right.
5. If you want a God-honoring marriage tomorrow, live a God-honoring life today.

7. From Boaz to Jesus – The Greater Redeemer

• Ruth’s decision to leave Moab + Boaz’s decision to redeem her ⇒ marriage ⇒ son Obed ⇒ lineage of Jesus.
• Jesus, though under no obligation, chose to leave glory, be slain, rise again, and redeem us.
• Call to “define the relationship” with Jesus: casual acquaintance or Lord, Savior, King?

Key Truths

• God often works through ordinary circumstances (providence) to accomplish extraordinary purposes.
• Courage sometimes looks like taking the first step while trusting God’s sovereignty.
• Honor in relationships means protecting the other person’s purity, reputation, and future.
• One wise or unwise decision can steer an entire relational future.
• Jesus is the ultimate Guardian-Redeemer who voluntarily covers and restores those who call on Him.

Response

• Evaluate where you place yourself and choose environments that foster godly connections.
• Notice and appreciate the faithful people already in your life.
• Create clear physical and spiritual boundaries that honor God today.
• Make any overdue decision—apology, counseling, breakup, proposal—that aligns your relationship with Christ.
• Define your relationship with Jesus: surrender fully, not halfway.

Closing

Boaz’s midnight kindness foreshadows Christ’s ultimate rescue. Just as Ruth needed to declare her need for a redeemer, Craig urges every listener to decide who Jesus truly is to them. “Don’t miss Him by eighteen inches—head to heart.” The invitation is to move from casual church attendance to wholehearted surrender.

“Today, by faith, I declare: you’re my King, my Savior—I give you all of me.”

Prayer

Heavenly Father, forgive my sins. Today I put you first. Save me, change me, fill me with your Spirit. My life is not my own—I give it all to you. You’re my Lord, my Savior, my King. Thank you for new life; I give you all of mine. In Jesus’ name, Amen.