The Vow: Part 2 - "The Vow of Pursuit" with Craig Groeschel - Life.Church

Always Pursue Your Two

Scripture References

Primary text

• Genesis 2:24

Other references

• Hebrews 3:13
• Psalm 63:8
• Job 41:17
• Judges 20:45
• James 4:17
• Revelation 2:5

Overview

Pursuit doesn’t stop at “I do.” God remains our first priority, and our spouse is our second; therefore we vow to “always pursue my two.” Drawing on Genesis 2:24 and the Hebrew word dābǎq—to cling, chase, or pursue hard—Pastor Craig shows how marriages drift when the chase ends and offers three daily practices that close the gap between good intentions and loving action.

Context

Week 2 of “The Vow” focuses on preparing singles for a godly marriage and strengthening existing marriages. Last week’s vow placed God first; this week centers on lifelong pursuit of one’s spouse.

Main Points

We naturally chase what we don’t yet have

• Everyone has “fool-for-love” stories: Craig’s Joy latch-hook pillow, indoor-camping date, and Amy buying him a graduation puppy.

• Illustration: A discounted “JOY” pillow turned latch-hook project—a weeks-long, color-blind labor of love.

• Over time the phone calls, mixtapes, long drives, and surprises can fade.
• No area of life improves through neglect: not fitness, business, yards, or marriages.

“If the grass looks greener somewhere else, it’s time to water your own yard.”

Vow #2 — I promise to always pursue my two

• Genesis 2:24: leave parents, reprioritize, dābǎq (cling, catch by pursuit) to become one flesh.
• Jacob served fourteen years—seven after he already had Rachel—modeling ongoing pursuit even after the covenant is made.
• Singles: if pursuit is absent while dating, rethink the relationship; marriage seldom raises a nonexistent chase.

Habit 1: When you think something good, say it

• Hebrews 3:13—encourage one another daily.
• Never rob your spouse of a blessing locked in your head.
  Men:
  • Offer non-sexual words of affection—add “because” and vary the ending: “I love you because…”
    Women:
  • Offer words of affirmation—he becomes who you believe he is; celebrate even small spiritual steps.
  • Avoid “you’re not…” statements that shut him down.

Habit 2: When you think something special, do it

• James 4:17—knowing the good to do and not doing it is sin.
• Act on the thought: unexpected take-out picnic, gas in her car, handwritten notes, flowers when friends are watching, bathing the kids.

• Story: Amy arranged childcare, packed bags, and whisked Craig away to a hotel on a draining Thursday—perfectly timed pursuit.

Habit 3: When you want something different, be it

• Stop griping about what your spouse isn’t; become what God asks of you.

• Story: Amy silenced her phone in the evenings instead of nagging Craig about his, prompting him to follow her lead.

• We don’t criticize our way to a better marriage; we model it.

Two guiding principles

1. To get what you’ve never had, do what you’ve never done.
2. To get what you once had, do what you once did.

• Gentlemen lead; women multiply what they receive.
  • “If you don’t like what you’re getting, look at what you’re giving.”

Key Truths

• Ongoing pursuit is the practical expression of putting a spouse in second place after God.
• Encouragement spoken today guards hearts from sin’s deceit tomorrow.
• Love feels stagnant when intentional words and actions are withheld.
• Personal transformation influences a spouse more powerfully than criticism.
• What you cultivate in marriage grows; what you neglect, withers.

Response

• Speak every positive thought to your spouse before the day ends.
• Translate one loving idea into action this week—no postponement.
• Examine your own habits; change one area instead of demanding change from your spouse.
• Schedule dedicated, distraction-free time to pursue and enjoy each other.
• Water your own yard: invest in your marriage rather than envying another.

Closing

Pastor Craig challenged couples to remember how high their love once soared, repent of complacency, and repeat the earliest acts of pursuit. When God is truly first, the energy to chase our “two” returns, romance is rekindled, and broken areas can be restored seven-fold.

“I promise to always pursue my two.”

Prayer

Pastor Craig prayed for singles to recognize their worth and wait for godly pursuit, for married couples to receive healing, forgiveness, and renewed intimacy, and for everyone to mirror God’s relentless chase by pursuing their spouse with grace-filled words and actions.